This is not the final story. In fact this is barely the beginning of the final story. As we write this, the Ultimate Avalanche that we built during 2003 -- with the coverage starting in the Aug. 2003 issue -- is sitting broken, awaiting repair. We will not try to explain why it is there since that may never be determined. Rather, let us tell you how it got there. When we last left off on the story, our truck was ending the Adventure in Arkansas. However, my trip home from there was as much an escapade as the official Ultimate Adventure itself. During the trip some problems arose and parts broke that we hadn't expected, and now it was time to get it back to L.A. for repairs. Little did we know that half of that trip home would be with the Avalanche on the back of a semi.
Some folks get wedding singers for entertainment, but at my brother's wedding, the new Mr. and Mrs. Williams got the '03 Ultimate Adventure Chevy Avalanche. Not bad considering rain during the ceremony made for some good mudding during the reception.
Arkansas to Pennsylvania Wedding
Leaving Arkansas, I realized that the front steering tie-rod ends were bent and the oil hadn't been changed in over 4,000 miles. I had to get to Pennsylvania for my brother's wedding and then take the truck to the Bloomsburg Jamboree, but first I stopped in Knoxville, Tennessee, for a much needed oil change and tie-rod repair.
I really wished I could have gotten a picture of the Avalanche in front of the White House or Washington Monument, but security there is pretty tight, so here it is in front of the Hershey's Chocolate Factory in Hershey, Pennsylvania.
After that I hauled tail up to Washington, D.C., where I had the weirdest exchange with one of the locals. Since big red Chevy Avalanches rolling on prototype BFG Krawlers are rare in our nation's capital, I didn't think it unusual when a fellow in a car next to me rolled down his window and asked, "Drive that thing in the mud much?" I replied, "Yes, I do." Then when he asked if I was from Virginia, I replied, "No, California." This is when he looked very perplexed and asked me how I had gotten the truck that far east. I told him I had driven it there and his reply astounded me: "You can drive from California?" I guess no one has informed the residents of Washington, D.C., that the Mississippi is now a river and no longer an ocean.
On the way home from York I stopped to get a picture of the Avalanche in front of Three Mile Island. This is the sight of the worst nuclear accident in U.S. history, and I was hoping it would give me X-ray vision and an Incredible Hulk physique. I think it worked.
Damage Repair
After the wedding I tried to get the truck ready for the Bloomsburg Jamboree, which we covered in last month's issue. I didn't really feel I needed to fix all the body damage, but the passenger rear window wouldn't roll down completely and the plastic body panels were looking pretty ratty and falling off. We fixed this in three easy steps. First, we tore off all plastic body cladding that looked ugly from the start, and filled any holes in the body with expandable foam. Next, we stopped by Martin Wilt's auto body shop in York, Pennsylvania, and had him beat the truck with a hammer till the window rolled up and down. Finally, we got Rhino Linings of York to spray whatever was previously covered with plastic to give the truck a much cleaner look.
Bloomsburg and Long-Haul Prep
Next, I headed to the Summer 4-Wheel Jamboree in Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania, where we put the Avalanche on display at the Dynatrac booth. Many people seemed to enjoy the truck and I enjoyed sitting on Main Street after the event and watching people cruising in their trucks until the cops shut down the fun at 11 p.m. on the dot. I must say that I felt a bit out of place since the Avalanche didn't have the prerequisite Lund sunvisor. I could show you a picture of the truck at the booth, but wouldn't you rather see the winners of the Bikini Contest?
Our rear steer had a problem when we mismeasured the throw of the ram and in turn bent our steering arms. We replaced the arms, but first I got my uncle to drill holes in them for the rod ends. My uncle also showed me how his 440-powered 1/2-ton Dodge could out-wheel my 9,000-pound Avalanche on his woodchip pile. In turn, I showed him how my Avalanche could get stuck when I broke the transfer-case shifter off due to insufficient lubrication of the mechanism. | 
After almost losing our Matco tools in the rocks and mud of the Southeast I decided that a coat of orange paint would help keep them close and keep us from accusing our friends of stealing. Plus if you can find one of these rolls for storing your wrenches, it makes for a much tidier toolbag. | 
Right before I hit the road on our trip back to California, I noticed that a few of the bolts holding the Atlas onto the back of the transmission seemed loose, plus I still needed to fix the transfer-case shifter. My dad let me tear the truck apart in the barn, and after a few hours I had the bolts torqued and glued in with Loctite. Since I was under the truck and dirty I couldn't really get a picture of the work on the transfer case, but here is a picture of a cute little baby cow eating a booger. |