Day 3, Monday:
Asphalt Wheeling from Longview to Huntsville
One of the unique features of Ultimate Adventure is that between every wheeling day there are a few hundred miles of on-the-road trail to cover. Since no trailers are allowed during the actual event, this means trail rigs on the street. Having survived Barnwell with only a few broken bits, we set off early Monday morning for Huntsville, Texas, roughly 200 miles away. Of course it's less than that if you drove straight there on the highways, but what's the fun in that? Pw has no interest in going straight to the next campground just to sit around waiting for the sun to set. Instead there are neat little backroads to explore, one-of-a-kind diners in every town to eat at, and gas stations to be overrun by hordes of lifted 4x4s looking for fuel, drinks, and whatever foodlike substances can be found. Plus did we mention that the boss is also quite fond of old Jeeps, and it's his personal calling to try and find every one hiding in the weeds along the untraveled bitumen of our great nation?
You can't imagine the looks a group of giant 4x4s gets when it rolls through these sleepy Texas towns, but it's a blast to talk to the locals about the trucks and take photos with them along the way. Here Clifton Slay explains the finer points of rock-buggy driving to a young off-road enthusiast.
Now you might think that traveling 200 miles would take roughly 3 1/2 hours, but then you've most likely never been on Ultimate Adventure where 200 miles is an all-day expedition. You see, it's like this: We start the day with another drivers' meeting, but it's usually late since someone has overslept or is still up after an all-night wrenchfest fixing whatever was broken the day before. Then after everyone is packed, snacked, and fueled we finally line up and convoy out of town, waving to our new friends as we leave. Then barely out of town the group is hopelessly strung out across nine intersections waiting for the light to change, until eventually we stop along the way to regroup and see who's missing. It's about this point when someone's rig won't run quite right, or maybe a cooler needs to be strapped down again, or there's that one guy that must skip off into the bushes for just a second. Sooner or later we get back on the road only to get a message relayed from the back of the pack stating that someone had to pull over due to some unexplained mechanical issue. No worries, we're only going another 15 miles till a fuel stop where they can catch up. Of course the fuel stop involves 18 different rigs vying for the only pump in some small Texas town while the men's room has a line around the convenience store. The next thing you know Pw is back in his Jeep and the other Ultimate Adventurers are hustling from the store with armloads of beef jerky, energy drinks, and packets of cream-filled cakes. Again we're on the road, but before long the whole scenario happens again. However, along the way we cruise through neat little towns with one or less stoplight per municipality, and it's not unusual that when we do stop the locals come gawking like we're the traveling freak show. Of course everyone wants to check out the rigs and since it's about lunch time and someone is overheating again or another rig's electronic fuel injection is no longer injecting, we decide to regroup. Thus it is no wonder that we leave one town at 8 in the morning and it's nearly 12 hours later when we finally arrive just 200 miles away, exhausted and ready to set up camp, snap open a brew or two, and hit the sleeping bags. However our new hosts have prepared a welcoming meal which our group could never turn down, and being a hungry bunch we dive right in. Before long some of us wander off to check on the trucks and tighten any loose bolts so the next day on the trial will go smoothly. And that is one of the boring road days of UA.
Ultimate Adventure road days may seem pretty boring, but they are anything but. Here you can see where our entire group of wheelers escaped the heat for a quick air-conditioning break at the local Family Dollar store. The staff was overwhelmed at our enthusiasm for bargain basement prices. | 
As usual we were barely on the road when someone had mechanical problems. Unfortunately Clay Parish had an electrical gremlin under the hood of his 4Runner which gave the other adventurers a chance to relax in a drive-in car wash for an afternoon break, while Toyota expert Slee Off-Road helped to chase the gremlins away. | 
As much as we like hanging out in every town we come to, eventually it's time to load up and head down the road to the next wheeling destination. The group rarely exceeds 60 mph and everyone is required to have a CB radio so any stragglers or breakdowns can be reported to the rest of the group. |
Pink Hats
Every year our trip is filled with pranksters, inside jokes, and people helping deflate each other's tires under the cover of darkness. However, one of the more recently initiated ceremonies of UA is the Pink Hat awards. These pink hats are awarded to the guys who somehow misunderstood the true meaning of UA, and for a day they get the honor of wearing a pink hat to remind them of their folly. It's not really a harsh punishment, but rather a way to poke fun at those who might show up late to UA, be caught running on road days with windows up and air conditioning on while the rest of us sweat, take a bypass rather than dunking their rigs in the deep mud holes, or maybe even sneaking into town in order to pressure-wash mud from the skin of their pretty 4x4. You see, UA is a test of our rugged adventure lifestyle, and if some of us have to suffer through it then gosh darn it we all should. Plus in some ways it could be an honor to get to wear a pink hat for a day, but mostly it's just a great way to poke fun at each other.